Bless Me, Altima...and forgive me, Rudolfo Anaya

October 29, 2010

There's a part of me that wishes I'd never bought that fancy, black car. It was too new, too classy, too put together for me, what with all its hubcaps and visors and such. Like all new things, my 2006 Nissan Altima has lost a bit of its shine of late, and I find myself suffering more than I'd care to admit.

As Allison and I walked to my car the other afternoon--an especially sparkly October day--I was dumbstruck by the sight of five perfectly-aligned craters that marred the Altima's otherwise perfect passenger side. Suddenly, I felt like my former neighbor, the one who publicly massaged and shampooed his beloved Honda Civic to the point of others' discomfort. I let out a gasp and ran my quavering fingers over its fine, warm skin, letting them linger at each heartbreaking indentation.

In the past month, my poor, shiny Altima has endured numerous dents and scratches, each one reminding me that, while black may be slimming in a dress, it is utterly unforgiving on a car. These days, I find myself hurrying to it, eyes averted, fumbling with my keys so that I may quickly enter its near-virgin interior. Inside, it is once again that symbol of near perfection, nary a stain on the floor mats, only one--maybe two--wadded up Kleenexes crammed into the back ashtray.

I know I'm fooling myself. I knew, when I bought the Altima last January, that the honeymoon would end, that we'd wake up one morning and look over at each other not with lust so much as with tempered tolerance. We have become a warts-and-all pair, no longer able to uphold the fantasy, our bumpers scratched and rusty, our shine dulled by wear and tear.

Like a healthy marriage, the Altima and I have entered that stage during which we love each other in spite of, rather than because of. I should feel good about this, I suppose. After all, even creepers find it easy to love because of....it takes real strength of character and a good dose of humility to love something in spite of itself.

WARNING: Do NOT read further if you are allergic to really bad puns. I can't help myself, but I do feel compelled to warn you...

And if, down the road, the Altima and I run into barricaded avenues, places where we just can't seem to navigate on our own, I am comforted to know that we can sign up for a Carriage Encounter Weekend, through our local dealership. This is, after all, a relationship worth saving.