October 28, 2010
Man, I feel so bad for Charlie Sheen. I can't imagine how scary his allergic reaction must have been, considering that it caused him to toss about furniture--bulky chairs and probably a few Gideon Bibles, too!--in his Plaza Hotel suite. Never mind the nude porn star who was scared out of her wit during his medical event. Allergies are nothing to wag your nose at!
Like Charlie, I have ended up in the hospital emergency room more than once, thanks to allergic reactions. And then, there was the time that the family's optometrist said he'd meet us in a closet just off the emergency room, his kindness saving us hundreds of dollars in emergency-room fees, though it was kind of cramped, sharing the room with brooms and such. And the lighting wasn't so hot, either.
In my own, storied, food-sensitive life, I've gone to the emergency room over a lousy hazelnut and a slice of watermelon. Hardly the stuff of legend, but you should have seen the way my face puffed up! I looked like a woman who'd just returned from a date with, well, Charlie Sheen.
No doubt, the cynics out there are labeling Sheen's event as something other than an allergic event. Had these been Old-Testament times, these "people" would have been the first to pick up a fist-sized stone to throw at the man. For shame, I say!
Alas, I will stand up for this man who works really, really hard. He is an honest man rightfully earning millions "acting" in a sex-soaked, one-joke sitcom. After all, how can we expect him to stand up for himself? Peruse news stories about him, and it's clear that he's got a long history of allergic reactions that affect his balance and mood. Only 45, galactically speaking, Charlie Sheen is a mere pup, especially if you consider that astronomers just discovered a galaxy formed five billions years after the creation of the universe.
Who really knows what happened the other night? Maybe he left his Claritin home. Maybe his $200 pasta dish had trace elements of shellfish--a real concern for allergy sufferers--and he reacted the only way his body knew how. Whatever it was that set off Charlie Sheen, clearly, jail is the wrong solution. A better solution, by far, would be a saline solution shot through his nostrils. I have yet to meet a problem that a bracing sinus rinse couldn't solve.
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