Having a Heart to Heart

To the casual observer, it must look like I've got it out for my heart.  In addition to asking it to beat 30 million times a year, I've all but guaranteed that it'll be decimated, come May 24.

That's the risk you take when you love something.  Or, in this instance, two somethings (a job and a place) and all the someones therein.

In this photo, I'm with my pal, Jeffrey, who has been a part of my shenanigans for nearly 30 years.  If it looks like I'm in love, well, I suppose I am.  Lunch with Jeff and the gang is not for the faint of heart.  But, my God, do we laugh!   And, boy oh boy, am I excited about our April Fools Day plans . . . .

Jeff is but one of the people who fill my days with love and contentment.  For me, East High is a repository of quality folks and it's tempting to want to just plop down and refuse to go.

It was my idea to leave my job while I'm loving it, and I still stand by that decision, even though it is such a comfortable place for me to be.

Check that.

Maybe because it's such a comfortable place to be.

I'm 57.  Hardly old by today's first-world white-person standards.  But my oldest brother died at 46.  My dad was gone at 67.  And I've had a go with cancer, to boot.

For all these reasons, then--from love to lifelines--I'm choosing to leave my comfort behind me and walk into the mystery a bit. And, while I'm not a big mystery reader, I do get jazzed by an intriguing bend in the road.  So I figure I ought to bend while I can.  God knows it'll be difficult one day.

The weekend before school started this year, I was in the Sandhills, alongside the Niobrara.  There, I found peace and mystery, and I shared it with a handful of folks who loved the outdoors as much as I do.  It was the perfect place for me to be, before heading into my final school year.

I get the feeling that I'll be back there, maybe sooner than I'd imagined.  It would be a fine place to spend a little time while my heart heals from all that love and lacking.