Want to really tick off someone? Just hate their favorite song. Heck, it doesn't even have to be a favorite. Just gag a bit--preferably right when your friend starts excitedly banging her hands against the dashboard.
People really like their music. And everyone hates it when a friend does not possess our superb taste in music. Sweet Jesus....remind me why was it we became friends in the first place!?
I have liked so many crappy songs in my life that it would require Lincoln to expand its dump just to make room for them all. And I'll be damned if I'm handing over a single one of them. Yeah, even "Love's Theme" by Love Unlimited Orchestra.
As a teacher teetering on the far end of relevant, I wish I'd been born with the gift of music, so that I could deliver my otherwise most excellent plagiarism lesson in the key of "D." Packaged in a few musical hooks, I'd be able to turn my students onto the wisdom that flows through me like a pre-colonoscopy beverage.
Given that I possess only the ear of a musical genius, though, I must make my peace with the idea that I can only identify really excellent songs, if not actually replicate them.
And so, until I walk through those pearly gates of Heaven (with Loretta Lynn's "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" in the background, just to keep St. Peter on his airy little toes), I will find my contentment in loving all kinds of songs--whether they be good, bad or ugly to the underdeveloped ears of my so-called friends--knowing that God will most certainly ask me to be a DJ at a really cool club in the clouds, assuming I continue collecting the greatest songs ever written.
Ever.
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