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Friday, October 7, 2011

Wanted: "Accordian--older model. I'll pay cash!"

That "lost" clarinet got me thinking. Of all the sections in a newspaper, is there one that can top the hope which continually spills from the Want Ads?

No. Seriously.

So, I put my emerging theory to the test this morning, scanning the Want Ads for even one example of something that did not represent hope. Couldn't find it. Even the Cemetery Lots section framed things through the lens of hope. Who wouldn't want to save a few bucks and get a nice, shady place to hang one's eternal hat? I'd be lying if I said Mark and I haven't occasionally looked for that one last plot of land.

Certainly, the most emotion-soaked section of the Want Ads is the Lost & Found. Often, they read more like slivers of a personal diary than dry reporting, exposing the writer to the world's cynical eye. Here, in the Lost and Founds, we find out what really matters to people. And, often, it can be heartbreaking. Especially when it comes to someone's pets.

Today's Lost and Found section is surprisingly absent of pets, aside from those who have found their way to the Capital Humane Society. But it is not absent of untold stories. Consider this, which was found not far from my house: photographs and wedding ring receipt. Tell me there isn't hope or heartbreak in that one.

But don't think all the hope of the Want Ads is rooted in the Lost & Found. Consider 6701 Wildflower Court. It's been on the market for well over a year and, each day, its owners stand steadfast in their belief that, somewhere, there is someone who'd like to live in that house. Each day, you find its expensive, photo-laden promise of a life of luxury. How hopeful are these people? Let's just say that, in the long year my daughter has checked on it, the price has not drop. One cent. And it's yours for just $849,000.

Sometimes, hope and foolishness cross paths.

I used to think that the Letters to the Editor represented what is best about our Democracy. After all, there, you find the everyday man--or perennial local presence Edgar Pearlstein--taking a stand. But now I'm thinking that it's in the Want Ads where we find the best and most joyful part of humanity. Where else would someone spend money advertising things they are giving away for FREE (Today? Black walnuts, a blue-and-tan easy chair, a garage, a mattress--no thanks!--and a color tv)?

With all the hard news of the world knocking on my door, maybe I'd be better off dosing myself with some good, old-fashioned Want Ads.

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