Every clock in my life is goofy these days. At home, not a one is in sync with the others, meaning that great expanses of time might elapse before I even cross the room. Or, if I'm crossing in the other direction, I may suddenly find myself with "do over" possibilities, time seemingly having reversed itself.
Even my internal clock seems off a bit, so I've felt more ebb than flow of late, and I'm definitely a "flow" person.
It's not that I'm obsessed with knowing the time. After all, I don't even wear a watch--although I did don the Baconator Friday, but strictly as wrist bling, considering it has no functioning battery.
For me, it's a matter of steadiness. Knowing my time and this place helps to anchor me. In the past week, those qualities have eased back into my life, and I'm mighty grateful to see them again.
Who knows why I awoke with lightness the other morning? Perhaps this incredible string of gorgeous days finally seeped in and righted me. Maybe it was the earthy smell of fall--that strange mix of dust and death and dirt--that awoke my senses.
At this point, I'm not really asking why my steadiness has returned. I'm just enjoying it. In all of its forms. In the weather. My friends and family. In my students. My home. In my renewed enthusiasm for life and God and nature, right down to the fuzzy caterpillars that trust they'll make it across the trail unscathed.
I come from a very on-time family. We're great with deadlines and hate being late to things. I think that's why this past month or so has been such an internal struggle for me...my zest for life was a overdue and I didn't know where to look for it.
I should have known it was right here all along, hiding under a tangle of old necklaces, next to that watch battery I've never gotten around to using.
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