"The thing about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail that summer, the thing that was so profound to me. . .was how few choices I had and how often I had to do the thing I least wanted to do." --from "Wild," by Cheryl Strayed.
Strayed's words, relating a profound realization atop the rugged trail, caught me off guard last night. Off guard and on alert.
I think I've needed an alert to sound for some time now. I'm grateful Strayed was up to the task.
Heaven knows others have tried to make their voices heard to me, no doubt having grown tired of my whining about new job duties that feel overwhelming and underfinanced. Ah, but apparently, I needed a woman broken by death and heroin, empty sex and divorce to pull me aside and remind me that, sometimes, we just need to man up.
"Man up." What a stupid expression. As though monthly bleeding, birthing humans and 2/3 pay for the same job somehow fall short in toughening up a person.
Alas, whatever term you want to use, the point remains the same--it's time for me to quit whining and just do my job. Surely I would have learned by now that the times I grow the most, the times I am most human, are the times when I do what's necessary, even when it's hard. Or not fun. Or unnoticed.
But I am a slow learner, having just discovered, at age 50, a foundation and blush that my daughter approves of. Half a century and I'm just now realizing that no one else is going to swish that ring off the toilet or walk the dog in the rain.
Tom Osborne often talked about the importance of delayed gratification, saying that, if he could teach his athletes--and, later, all those Teammates--to do the hard work first, then they will wake up some day--long before they turn 50, I'm sure--and discover the strength that is within them. Proof enough that the hard choice often is the best one. You just might need a pair of binoculars to remember that important fact.
Jane, you have done a good thing here. I have often thought about the relative value of choice and duty. I read a book on consumerism about the marginal return on too much choice: one of the difficulties people face when having many things to choose from is extended buyer's remorse: they have the thing they chose, but they do not have ALL the things they did not choose. I know from my experience that I spend some of my time lamenting having not chosen some of the options I thought open to me. I also spend some time lamenting that there were options I didn't even know about. Fact is, we can't keep all doors open and make distance down any one path. I could ramble on, but what I'm trying to say is thanks.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, your reading is like a deliscious caramel, cashew protein bar that I slowly nibble on in the morning, and it gives me sustenance, and profound topics to think about through the day. Yummy yet good for me! It's funny you chose that passage from "Wild"...when I read it, I remember coming to a halt and really mulling that quote over as well...how true it is! Keep writing Jane-and hand me the protein bar...
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