For someone who's taught high schoolers for nearly 25 years, you'd think I'd be pretty shock proof. How to explain, then, my dropped jaw when I saw Time Magazine's cover last week? You know the one where the preschooler parked his Cozy Coupe so he could fill up at the mommy pump.
Maybe it's because I've taught high school for so long that I had the reaction I did. When I pulled out the magazine from our mailbox, I immediately pitied the boy, seeing--with crystal-clear vision--what his future would hold for him. All the name calling. The teasing. The friends begging to come over after school for a little snack. . . .
I spent the next three nights reading the article about attachment parenting, something I had never heard of before then. I would have gotten through the article a lot faster had it not been for my annoying children and their ridiculous "needs."
"MOM! We're out of toilet paper!"
"MOM! The milk's turned!"
"MOM! Are we having dinner over the sink again?!"
My God. Had I known how taxing parenthood would be, I would have found myself another hobby. Like horseback riding or something.
Anyway, back to the whole "attachment parenting" thingy. . . .
Frankly, I can't imagine anything worse than the idea of me as the "be all end all" to my children. No. When it comes to Eric and Allison, I much prefer a little benevolent neglect. How else, pray tell, will I get them out of the house by age 20 unless I keep screwing things up or ignoring them? Seriously, the last thing I want to be is one of those all-inclusive resorts that white people love so much.
No, I want my children to live among the natives. And, frankly, the sooner the better.
...in fact, it looks like there's an opening late next week.
Laughing aloud here. I am in full agreement with you on this one.
ReplyDeleteSydney,. . . I'm thinking you are mere weeks from a child-free household. While part of me is envious, the other part of me rather likes your sons, and can't imagine Lincoln without them!
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