The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that selective memory loss may be the one thread that holds all of humanity together. After all, if it weren't for selective memory loss, most of us probably would be living in the proverbial dog house, our tails firmly between our legs.
What else but selective memory loss could explain how Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh have convinced so many women to marry them--including Newt's former high-school math teacher, for Pete's sake?! Although, to her credit, she didn't marry Rush, too.
It is selective memory loss that has allowed daughter Allison to still love Finn, the dog who ate and pooped and peed his way through both of her retainers and her bedroom.
I believe that selective memory loss counteracts virtually any birth-control method out there. The real reason we have more kids? Because we can't remember what our current kids did to us yesterday. Hardly a failure of birth control. . . So, give it up, President Obama. It's a wasted argument, as long as our collective memories fail to fire!
Selective memory loss is probably the primary reason millions of people haven't moved out of the Midwest, where, during a mild February, we are elated to see the first tendrils of a future daffodil poking through the soil.
It's quite possible that I'm still married because of selective memory loss. Maybe also why I'm still a teacher. Pretty sure, though, that selective memory loss hasn't done much for me in the area of fashion and culture, though.
Some truths simply are too ugly to ignore.
No comments:
Post a Comment