100 Things About My Mom, in No Particular Order
1. You have nice ears. I hadn't realized that before. They are big, but nice.
2. Is it possible you have no grey hair? I still don't know.
3. You have nice teeth.
4. Your smile is wonderful.
5. So's your laugh.
6. You love jazz, which means your kids love jazz.
7. You did the crossword puzzles, when I thought it was dad who did. You corrected me, finally, telling me he would simply swoop in at the end and write down an answer or two. In pen, for God's sake!
8. You are a bad driver. But you never killed anyone. So maybe you aren't the worst.
9. You are statuesque.
10. You were a disinterested Catholic.
11. You weren't a great cook but you could stretch a meal admirably.
12. . . . I didn't have to feed 7 people, so maybe I should shut up.
13. You took us swimming, and stayed.
14. You picked me up when I got caught shoplifting and didn't yell at me.
15. You and dad were a really handsome couple.
16. So were you and Dick.
17. You have nice bone structure.
18. You became adorable to me this year.
19. You love a good joke.
20. You can tell good jokes, too.
21. You appreciate puns.
22. Apparently, you were a secret smoker. I once saw you smoke at the Joliff's on the 4th of July and could not believe my eyes.
23. Your hair reminds me of Doris Day.
24. You know your jazz artists, inside and out.
25. You have a great younger brother, Burley.
26. Your sister, Weedie, was a spirited rascal who you ended up loving very much.
27. You made good kids.
28. You were proud of your grandchildren.
29. You had a daughter who died shortly after birth.
30. . . . maybe her death made room for me, your youngest. I do not take that lightly.
31. Your feet aren't your best feature but I never minded rubbing them.
32. You have incredible strength.
33. You once mentioned in passing that you'd had a heart attack the week before.
34. You seldom complained.
35. You had tinitus.
36. You had neuropathy.
37. You had breast cancer when I was a young kid. I remember Dad pulling up in the station wagon and all of us waving to you from the car when you were in the hospital then.
38. You planned some great vacations and often made us learn some history before we went.
39. Jack once threw a firecracker in your direction. It blew up underneath your skirt.
40. You hid Russell Stover candy on Easter, even when we were adults.
41. You were smart enough to hire a cleaning lady.
42. You're a great artist.
43. You've sketched our children's portraits.
44. You've sketched many other people's children, as well. And some of the staff at Tabitha, too.
45. You sketched two men on trial for murder, including Starkweather.
46. You let us eat really awful sugar cereal.
47. You could eat half a package of Ruth's Oatmeal Cookies between the store and our house.
48. You once left your groceries at the grocery store.
49. You once forgot me at the grocery store. I had to jump in the back of the station wagon as you were passing.
50. You were a docent at the Sheldon Art Gallery.
51. You let dad have loud, smoky poker parties at our house.
52. You have great taste in jewelry.
53. You didn't get mad at me when I threw up in your bed that one time.
54. You let Steve get a pet skunk.
55. You would sometimes appear in my brothers' films. Your cameo in "Creature from Planet Zero" was Oscar-worthy.
56. You bought me an electric guitar.
57. You and dad served dinner to my friends and me, in my bedroom, on my 16th birthday.
58. You--perhaps foolishly--got me a room at the Holiday Inn for my 18th birthday.
59. You made Ann's wedding dress. Which became my wedding dress.
60. You made all my bridesmaids' dresses, too. For only $25 each!
61. You helped design our house.
62. You let me put Wacky Pack stickers all over my closet doors.
63. More than once, you tucked your skirt into your hose
64. You and Mark painted Dr. Seuss characters all over our bathroom walls.
65. When I announced that I was pregnant, you asked "Would anyone like more coffee?"
66. You grabbed my shirt when I opened the car door on the highway, heading to Colorado. I had to know if a locked car door kept people in. It doesn't. Thank you for grabbing me.
67. You aren't particularly sentimental.
68. You got out of the way so that we could find ourselves and make our own paths.
69. You once told me to eat with a little more "casual indifference."
70. Allison wears your clothes--she loves telling people they are her grandmother's.
71. Your hairstyle was classic. It never changed and it always looked good.
72. You once washed my hair with mayo and made me put a baggie over it for an hour. Something about swimmer's hair. . .
73. You often played Boggle and Scrabble with me.
74. You are poised.
75. You shrunk this year so that I might, just once, be taller than you.
76. A pet toad once died in one of your shoes in your closet. It took me a long time to find it.
77. You were always nice to my friends, and called them by name.
78. You were a little obsessed with Publisher's Clearinghouse for awhile. Okay, a lot obsessed.
79. You made good party signs.
80. You made mix tapes, a passion you shared with your children.
81. You were tolerant of my taste in clothes, mostly.
82. You once made Mark and me change before taking us to the Sheldon.
83. You let us sit on the roof to watch the fireworks at Holmes Lake.
84. You came to my parties!
85. You and Dick backed into Jennifer's van after one of my parties and just drove away. Molly saw it all happen.
86. You and dad always cleaned the kitchen after a party so it would look tidy in the morning.
87. You are aloof, but in a good, artistic way.
88. You aren't high drama.
89. You occasionally picked up Ann from the bars, even though she wasn't of age yet.
90. You once said "Damn it!" in front of Eric and Allison, after hitting another car in the McDonald's drive-through (see no. 8). They couldn't quit talking about it.
91. My friends all liked you.
92. You once gave Mark a Happy 50th card, even though he wasn't 50. You might have called him "Wayne" in it, too.
93. You have very nice friends who have always been nice to your kids.
94. You and dad liked to dance.
95. You and dad were in the dance group called "Gay Nighters." They changed their name in the 2000s.
96. You illustrated a book that Dale wrote for Eric, called Eric's Little Alligator.
97. You are a sugar fiend. Pretty sure it's genetic.
98. You were cool headed.
99. You ran a red light a few years ago (48th and O!) in front of a cop, who let you go.
100. You were a swell mom, for a thousand different reasons.
